Wanting Your Cake and Eating it Too

Duh? If I got the cake, I'm going to eat it right?  I've never understood the saying, but from what people tell me it's about being overindulgent.

You have something that may be good, but you want more... so you cheat...

But what is cheating?  Everyone seems to have their own definition.


Well having sex with someone other than the person your in a relationship with is for sure, no questions asked...cheating; but is kissing cheating?

Flirting?

Sexting? (I don't understand the point, but for the blog's sake, it should be mentioned.)

My personal definition of cheating is doing something you KNOW your significant other would not appreciate.

Have I cheated?

Yep, sure have.

Why?

Because in my mind the relationship was already over, I just hadn't gotten around to telling him yet.

I feel like everyone has their own personal reasons for cheating, but there is ALWAYS an underlying reason. 

The other question is, after you've cheated, do you tell?

In my opinion, no, because if you feel bad about it, your just doing it to make yourself feel better and the other person is hurt in the process.

However, if your busted...your busted. No need to lie at that point, because if they ask, more than likely they know what you did (last summer?).

I've never been caught, but I did catch my EX though...not in the act, but I stumbled upon some evidence.

OK,  I admit it...I was snooping.

He left his phone next to me on the bed and went to take a shower.

I kind of just sat there and stared at it for a moment, contemplating, because up to this point he had never done anything for me not to trust him.

This was like leaving a chocolate chip cookie in front of a fat kid and walking away.  Like he wanted me to look through it.

So, of course I obliged. 

I just looked through the texts and WOW.

In summary they said:

I can't wait to suck your d!*@.

I love you.

When can I see you again?

I saw RED.  I think if he would have walked in at THAT exact moment, I would have tackled him like a linebacker.  No doubt about it.

I took some deep breaths and had a secret mind battle about whether or not I should say anything.

I decided not to say anything because:


   A. Shouldn't have looked in his phone  and
  
   B. We would argue and he would flip it around to me not trusting him

That calm resolve lasted for maybe 20 minutes before I asked who the hell the text messages were from.

You know what this asshat said?

And I quote, "We're just friends, she is just joking."

My jaw hit the floor...I must seriously look like Kelly Bundy.  WTF?

As I'm staring at him, thinking about where to hide his body, he's rambling on and on...

I just launched the phone at the target on his forehead and left.

This was a couple of years ago and I did break up with him.  Who knows what else he would have lied about? Luckily, it was early on in the relationship so, no love lost there.

I learned two things that day:

    1. Don't go looking for things, because you WILL find them.

    2. Erase text messages that can implicate any wrong-doing on your part.

Can a relationship go on after cheating?

Probably...but why would you want it to?

There will always be a rain cloud of suspicion hovering.

Have you ever cheated? Did you fess up? What happened to the relationship afterwards?