Thursday, August 5, 2010

Guest Spotlight: Emma! (The Better Half of the Housebound Writer)

How often is it that you hear both sides to ANY story? Well, about a month ago I had Andrew Carson as a Guest Spotlight: The Housebound Writer, it was about his first date with Emma...his first date after NINE YEARS.  If you haven't read it , you should, because it is an amazing story. 

Anyways, I was lucky enough to get BOTH perspectives to this particular story.  Emma sent me her version of their first date! Enjoy!

Why Mr. Right Is Better Than Mr. Right Now!

I’ve dated some complete zeroes in my time who are either just interested in me because sex with a yoga teacher is on the list of things to do before you die or they are more turned on by their own bodies than by any girl’s.

I once had a date with a guy who’s name was, without a word of a lie “Joe King” and he was the least funny guy I’ve ever met. He spent the entire dinner date telling me what not to eat, as I’ll get fat. I was like, "Hey buddy,  I’m a God damn Yoga teacher, I know how to watch my figure, which is something you will never do, yah putz."

Now, my Mr. Right is different from these guys, he hasn’t got a six pack... he likes to say, "I’ve got a keg and who doesn’t like keg parties?" (LOL!) 

We first met on a movie forum online when a guy, who without a doubt still lives in his Momma’s basement, has never had a date... period, and goes by the name GeorgeLucasIsGod117, was attacking a comment I made. My comment was, “Independent movies have to rely on great characters rather than great plot devices or CGI so they tend to be better written than Studio Pictures.” I thought it was a fair point.

He returned with, “Bitch, you don’t know wet d**k about flicks go back to your Sex And The City chick flick s**t dildo box set and let the men talk.”

About 10 seconds later, while I was about to write a nasty reply, a mystery poster called AndrewGCarson wrote, “Hey w**kface, you’re out of line, apologise or I’ll come over there and kick you’re a**e.”

Mr.117 replied, “Sorry I shouldn’t have said that, can you forgive me? Hey big man you wouldn‘t really come over would you?” Ha!  From that day on, for three months we talked everyday on MSN and SKYPE.

Now, for about three weeks before we went on our first date I had developed feelings, strong feelings, hell I can admit I fell in love with him, but shooosh that’s between us only! I was to shy to tell him, as our friendship meant a lot to me, but I bucked up the courage with the help of some wine (a bottle) and asked him out for coffee via E-mail.

I couldn’t do it over the webcam and see him squirm if he wasn’t interested. Thankfully, he said yes after the 10th time I asked him. He’s very shy himself about conversation and being in public, as he has lived in his own head for so long... if you guys know him, you’ll know his back-story and understand.

The day arrives and we are to meet at 2 PM, but I got there at 1:43, I know, smacks of desperation, but people, this is Mr Right we’re talking about here! So, he get’s there on time and immediately thinks he is late cause I’m already there. He gets so cute when he’s flustered.

We go in, and he holds my chair for me as I sit down. Very charming... I’ve never once had a date do that for me. We sit down and commence our usual random conversations that have us giggling like idiots, when this tool who is sitting at the next table leans towards us, away from his date and begins talking on his phone.

 Drew let out a, "You got to be f***ing kidding me, a***hole," which makes the guy get up and leave sharply. Drew sits shell-shocked, not believing he actually said it, but I found it hilarious and it is forever cemented in my mind as my first experience of one of his “Brain Fart” moments when his inner monologue stops working....think Austin Powers, lol.

The only scary thing during the date was when he had one of his seizures, but afterwards we didn’t want it to end, so we went back to my place (Did I hear wolf whistles?...LOL) to watch his supposed short film starring James McAvoy and lo and behold, it actually does star a very young James McAvoy acting on screen with Mr. Carson himself! Drew was stealing the scene... absolutely amazing.

Afterward, we talked, we listened to music, we danced badly, lol, and in a moment of looking into his big puppy dog eyes, I decided we should both get lucky again... Don’t Judge, I count all the MSN/SKYPE conversations as dates, so like we had loads more than most people would have before going to bed. LOL, I'll keep telling myself that anyway.

Now Drew has a lot of hang-ups because of his illness. His head plays strange tricks on him, but he’s the only guy I’ve ever known who has hang ups about the size of his... ahem (points downward) who shouldn’t in any way.  How should I put this?... He’s no “Mighty Mouse” he’s a “Hulk“, LOL...

Oh, and Drew made a comment about thanking God or possibly the Devil for me liking him. Well, DrewBear, I totally love you and it’s nothing to do with religion,  it’s because you are the greatest man I’ve ever met and I should point out... Don’t call him, DrewBear he doesn’t like it. (Call him it... it’s totally funny, LOL!)

Emma, Thank You so much for sharing this!  For more info on Andrew G. Carson AKA DrewBear (LOL)... visit The Housebound Writer... 

Toodles Biatches!


Aheila said...

Hey Jazz!
This is a great way to present the other side of the medal. I really enjoyed reading this.

The more I hear about Emma the more I like her. Nicely written Emma.

Now that gets me thinking what would happen if my blue brother, Emma, Jazz and I were to have coffee... Hm... I swear there is a story in there. And most likely some good laughs.

TJ Lubrano said...

How cool to hear both sides of the story! Drew & Emma are so sweet ^_^! I wish them all the happiness and love in the world!

Thanks to them both for sharing their story!


Jazz Stanton said...

@Aheila... I think that would be the funniest cup of coffee ever. We are a bunch of characters for sure! Emma is the greatest, isn't she!

@TJ... I can't wait until Mr. Garson sees this!... LOL

Andrew G. Carson said...

Hi Jazz, ahem (blushing badly at Hulk comment) yes this was really well written and I keep telling Ems she should start her own blog to showcase her art and writing talent. I think all of us going out for coffee would be a great idea but I have a feeling I'd have to Irish up my coffee in case Emma drops another comment like that one above, lol.

Jazz Stanton said...

Ha... Don't blush! Emma should definitely have her own blog! What the hell is she waiting for?

Emma Murty said...

Love the pictures Jazz they really are a great fit especially the Hulk picture, lol, Drew when my Mom walked in on you getting out the shower that day she said to me afterwards 'God Emma you’re dating a porn star.' lol, yep Hulk is apt. If we make it over to the States I'd love to go out for coffee with you guys or/and a club or pub. I'm seriously considering having a blog I just need to find the time to do it properly like you guys do, I'm working two jobs at the moment to pay off my student debts as I owe £18,000 isn't education wonderful? LOL.

Aheila said...

It would most definitely be the funnier cup of coffee ever!

I'm joining the "Pressure Emma into starting her own blog" parade. Even if I only do that so I have a way of telling her that DrewBear said she really was his better half. Nah! I'd actually enjoy reading her. ;)

Jazz Stanton said...

Haa...Emma, I thought DrewBear was banned from coming to the states...LOL! Oh, I can't wait until he sees this comment...a Porn Star! If he was blushing before, he REALLY is now!

I completely understand the time restraints, I do most of my writing at work...SHHH! I'm in school full time and the debt...we won't even discuss, I might as well work for the loan company when I graduate...they own me!

@Aheila...we might actually have to try and do that one day! I'd rather go to Scotland though!...LOL

Emma Murty said...

He's seen the comment and is well let's say a little bit red in the face by it, lol, I know how you feel about the loan companies I only realised after I graduated that the loan had a 38.9% interest rate on it my grandkids will be still paying this debt long after I'm gone, lol. I was thinking of doing a blog with Drew as my computer is prehistoric and takes ages to do anything so I could come over and do it on his instead, lol that sounds sooo much dirtier on screen than in my head oops, ROTFL.

Aheila said...

@Jazz Once upon a time, a friend and I planned to go spend a year in Scotland but she never found the money. So I'm with you there; we should meet DrewBear and I-should-really-get-a-blog-Emma on their turf. *laughs*

Andrew G. Carson said...

I'm going to clear this up now Ems you nut my eh ahem you know is proportionate to my height just in case anyone had any weird ideas on that, lol. You guys should come over here sometime but I warn you if you think Ems is outspoken online well she is 10x worse in person.

Jazz Stanton said...

@Emma...you're such a Dirty Girl. Drew is so lucky...LOL

@Aheila...I'm thinking about traveling for 3 months once I graduate...maybe I should stop and visit all my BC friends...LOL

Antonia Blanca said...

@Emma, just yesterday Andrew was begging me publicly not to explain why I call him DB... and now everyone knows! LOL You crack me up, lil sis.

@DB, HA! It's so much worse payback than your crabs comment on MY blog!

@Jazz, thanks for facilitating a great laugh at my Scottish siblings!

They're my favorite couple... well, one of my favorite couples. :-)

Emma Murty said...

‘I'd like to clear this up’ Drew you’re the nut yah nut, lol, in proportion to your height- your like 6'9" not exactly average height babes, ROTFL. Jazz yes I say dirty things at times without realising it but I'm the innocent girl next door honest, lol.

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